How Do You See Me
by Kiwi Ninamori
Summary: It hasn't got far yet, just two chapters, but when I have time, it gets really good, to the point where it is rated what it isKeka, a young high schol student one day hopes to become a famous author, tries to keep cool after being criticized by a young au
1. Setting Fate

**Chapter One**

**Setting Fate**

She gently pushed down the cover of her laptop and released a huge sign. She had just finished up a book report on one her favorite novels, _Romeo& Juliet_, but even doing a book report on her favorite book didn't take up for the fact it was still school work. Her grades recently haven't been increasing but more like decline and stay put. Trying to fit in tutoring and after school activities had wore her out long before she got to her daily homework and projects. With the constant income of more school work, the question often came to mind. _Was she working her youth away, not having enough time for herself and a real social life? And what could she do with her life after completing high school and then collage._ She signed once more, but with a lower tone that carried out through the restaurant. She stretched her long, thin, brown legs across the floor beneath the table. Her arms also extended behind her head as she yawns. If she hadn't she was sure she would collapse from lack of sleep right then and there. After absorbing the environment, she returned to her laptop again. She opened up a file of her own that had the words "_Setting Fate" _type in big bold letters. Her eyes glanced at the file and continued on each row of words. Once reviewing the material she moved her fingers in place on the home row keys. Her fingers lingered on the keyboards, deciding what next exciting event should happen next.

Before she could type a letter in she felt up with bumps along her back. In the corner of her eye she could see a stranger, tall figure behind her. It appeared to be a man about a year or two ahead of her. He leaned closer, hovering over her shoulder like a vulture over its prey. She glued her eyes shut, the feeling of disrespect was way below the overwhelming feeling of invaded privacy. She then coughed loudly, giving him a tip about his interference. Suddenly the feeling disappeared and she turned her focus back to the keyboard. Her fingers press the "i" key and then "e", before finishing the statement the feeling return quickly.

"Excuse me, but I can't work while having you observe my every move" she replied with a tense voice, about to straggle him. She turned around once he continued to watch her over head.

"Excuse me, but if you don't leave I will…." She paused and examined his face.

He looked kind enough, but his expression had a certain quality that made him mysterious. His neck short black hair curled around his ears and overlapped his light brown eyes that resembled hot chocolate in the snow. The only thing different about him to her was his light clear skin, that if laid next to her dark brown skin would remind her of the Chinese yen and yang symbol. He just stared at the laptop, looking right through her in the way.

"_I just wanted to die right then and there, but the ever shifting jolts of my heart would not let me. I felt up with so much embarrassment I wanted to scream out lord kill me now, I want to be removed from this place but I guess that wasn't a good enough reason to die, because the very next moment I fainted in front of the world. Once I regained consciousness I wish I hadn't, why couldn't I die…"_he read and then finished.

She stared speechless and completely lost in thought.

"Stinks!" he said straightening his back. He removed his hands from his pocket and pushed back his hair that had fallen out of place as he bent over.

"What?" She screamed quickly._ Exactly what happened while she was daydreaming?_

"I said it stinks!" he grabbed his book bag that was lying on the floor beside the booth and swung it over his back. "There's not much to say about an amateur piece of work, now is there!" he stared at her coldly in the eyes and walk to the cashier. He handed the clerk his check and exit the building. She stood there petrified as he walked across the street and to the right. There wasn't to think about that moment, but somehow she wouldn't let him get away with this. Racing out the door and outside she almost forgot her bag and laptop. She cut through the red light and followed him to the right.

"Wait!" she called out, holding her breath as she ran. "Wait!" she called again catching up to him. He moved on as if he didn't even speak to her just before in the restaurant. Finally she saw the light turn green, stranding him on the corner with her.

"You won't get away from me that easily!" just before the light could turn red again she pounced up on her tip toes. He quickly turned around and saw her coming toward him. Once he noticed her it was too late, they were already in for a collision course. Immediately the girl rammed into him knocking them both onto the ground. She, long before him rose to her feet and jerked him by the collar.

"What's with you and insulting my work like that? What have I ever done to you?" she shuck his shirt collar back and fourth.

"You can't talk, just now tackling me like I killed your mother or something!" he yelled back at her. He rushed to his feet and snatched his shirt from out her hand. He dusted himself off and continued to walk on.

"Wait! I want an explanation from you!"

He smirked and went on before she could catch up again, "like I would need to explain myself to you, Keka!"

"How did he…know my name?" She looked down at her feet that were too tired to chase after him. She lugs her backpack across the ground as she headed home. She didn't seem to mind that her jeans were torn and covered in dirt, and that her shirt had gone to white to black for the tar sidewalks.

After arriving home Keka dragged her things up to her room and fell onto the bed like a rock. She moaned loudly through the quilt and kicked off her old white sneakers. If life could just be a little more merciful, than maybe she wouldn't have fell asleep three hours before dinner from exhaustion. She liked sleeping on her back mostly, because it made her feel relaxed and peaceful, but she fell asleep before she had the chance to turn over on her back. As she slept she still couldn't remove the event today from her mind.

"People like him really make my blood boil. Why couldn't it have been a Saturday today, usually my Fridays always end up like this no matter what I do?" She pouted and complained.

Being the type of person she was, she never blamed herself for her troubles and fault everyone else besides herself. She was over confident and super annoying to most people, and no one has yet found the quality that makes her special and unique. School for Keka was an ordinary routine, which had no importance at all. She came to school, and went to school everyday except weekends.


	2. Ignorance Has A Name

**How Do You See Me**

**Chapter Two**

**Ignorance Has A Name**

Keka's finger ran along the tags of books on a large brown shelf. About nine ales of bookshelf's a lined behind her and two in front. She took a couple of steps trying to find this one particular book. It had only been two weeks since the insult at the restaurant, and that fact was eating her alive. The man from before couldn't have seen her before could he? He did know her name, or was he just reading it labeled on the laptop as he read her story. Finally Keka found the book and pulled it out. It was expected to be really long, but it looked no more than two hundred pages. She glanced at the book one more time to make sure it was the right one.

"It's the right title, _Land Of The Blindfolded"_ she checked it twice, just in case she missed something.

"If it's not what you expected than Find the name under another author!" a loud familiar, voice called.

Keka almost dropped the book as he spoke. Keka frowned quickly. "I didn't know they allowed rats into the library."

"Well I guess they don't mind roaches either!" he gave a rude smirk as his back leaned lightly on the bookcase. His arms folded tightly across his chest and his legs over one another for balance.

"So says the jerk, which has no home training."

"Are you going to talk all day or find your book?" he turned around and went to the next shelf. He followed in the same pattern as Keka looking for a book.

Keka turn away, even though they were still on the same side of the shelf. She pretended to be looking for a different book this time, making her way farther down the shelf away from the man.

"Ignorance is not fitting for a fool, much less is stupidity for a writer." He whispered a little louder than he should have, but just enough to grab Keka's attention.

"I don't appreciate your comments at all!" she yelled unable to control herself from bursting out.

Almost instantly Keka was startled by a strong hand. She looked up behind her; a round man with a brown-gray beard grabbed her on the shoulder. Her feet dragged behind her as the man shuffled Keka out the door. She moved and struggled once she saw herself being dragged to the sidewalk from the door. Once the man released her he walked back inside. Keka was beyond furious.

"How could you allows a book critic, jerk like him stay, while a future best selling book writer is outside?" she stamped her foot brutally against the ground and bag on the door.

The old man ran outside, scaring Keka away from the window. "That book critic is Ken Akara, a welcomed writer_"_ he shouted, and before she could react the man was already back inside.

Keka stamped her foot harder this time and walked away, "I don't care who he is, I already made enemies with him and that's final."

Keka walked about a block before she felt like stopping. Even after ten minutes she was still ticked off and was ready for the moment to straggle Ken. It started to rain before long and the water came down in balls. The tiny droplets of water were caught in her hair and disappear quickly. She found a bench that had not been soaked by the rain and she waited. Damp and cold wasn't exactly what she had in mind for a Saturday, but it was better than staying at home with her mom and younger brother.

As the rain fell, Keka's mind was cleared; the rain always had that effect on her. Her raising anger had quickly melted away into calm, relaxing peace. She waited a couple of more minutes; hopefully he would leave by then. Her arms roughly stretched around her chest, causing her already soaked shirt to wrinkle. Her thin round nails tapped a tone on her shoulder like a drum, and her voice followed in unison. She kicked up water that had formed a large puddle in front of her.

"This is dumb, why am I out here anyway!" she quoted to herself.

It was silent throughout the street; the rain had filtered out the loud sounds of cars and people walking to work or to the shopping center. The lonely, empty sounds ate away at Keka's mind. Her eyes lowered as the invisible weights pulled them close. She smile peacefully knowing she was too tired to stay awake long enough. Finally she drifted in a deep sleep, as her arms dropped beside her legs and her head kneeled down between her shoulders.

"It's rather humorous how you can just fall asleep in the rain like this, but on the other hand you are a pretty weird person." Ken walked over beside and leaned over to pat her on the shoulder.

Before barely moving he was startled by Keka's reawakening. Her eyes fluttered up and looked directly at him. She looks more focused on the rain than on the fact he was finally there. Rushing to her feet and yawning quickly she cleared her sleepy expression.

"Here!" The man tossed a book into her hands almost to fast for her to react.

She looked down at it, "_Land Of The Blindfolded_", and returned a grateful stare, hidden beneath it was confusion.

"I hope that's all!" he moaned. He signed heavily and started off again. Keka had followed annoyingly behind him.

"Thanks for the assist, I don't think that man will ever let me back in after that attitude I gave him" signing loudly and closing her eyes she stepped up farther to be directly behind him. "Sometimes I can really be troublesome I guess, but I haven't found a good enough example yet. Most of the times they can't wait for my arrival."

Ken stopped instantly in front of her. Still talking with her eyes shut Keka rammed into him quickly and bounced back onto the ground. She looked back up to see him frowning as his eyebrows twitched.

"I have no attention in becoming familiar with you, or walking you anywhere, none the less do I appreciate you flowing me like a lost puppy!" he held back his voice, but feared he would end up yelling at her.

"What?" she gathered herself from out of the puddle and twisted the sides of her shirt, ringing it out.

"Leave me alone!" he marched away, but was once again disappointed.

"You still owe me an apology, Ken!" she pointed at him with her index finger and lectured him on his attitude.

"I'd rather be run over by a car!" Ken escaped Keka as she was speechless from his answer. Did he really hate her that much, he rather die than apologize?


	3. BlindFolded

**Chapter Three**

**Blindfolded**

The thought of what happened at the library made Keka fidget more as she walked home from school. It had only been two days and the event was still fresh in her mind. She thought of reasonable explanations as to why Ken had reacted that way. She had finally singled them down to, something from his past made life harder for him or he's just a rude, selfish, jerk who has no friends cause he plainly can't get along with humans. Keka was pretty sure it was the last one, since she hadn't noticed anyone ever around him.

"Maybe he's just sadden and takes it out on everyone else..." Keka told herself but then paused briefly. "Ahhhhhhhhhh! What am I doing obsessing over his problems! Have I gone mad!" Keka repeated and knocked herself in the head with her palm. Thinking about it only made things worse and more frustrating.

_Even if that day had gone differently, I'm sure I would still be obsessed about him. There's so much I don't know, and the more I try to forget it, the more I want to know. Or maybe its my over inflated pride, that won't let him get away with insulting my work. Which ever reason it is, I can't help but be curious...right?_

Keka suddenly remembered a chore she had left to do. Her mother had told her to drop off some papers at her job on the way home. Keka stopped on the sidewalk and rapidly searched her book bag for the work her mom wanted delivered to her. Her work and papers wrinkled as she pushed them aside. After a couple of seconds she found them and pulled them out. Keka rushed over to her moms work place, which happened to be a famous publishing company; her mother was a well known editor from novels.

"Excuse me?" Keka coughed politely into her fist and waited for the lady at the desk to answer her.

"Yes dear." the women reframed from her typing and looked towards Keka.

"Where can I find Mrs. Yama's office?" she twisted her legs across each other as she spoke.

"Fifth floor, third door on the right." The lady finished her sentence and continued her work.

Keka quickly rushed down the hall, looking for the elevators. She finally came to an open area with four elevators, two were already in motion and one was on its way back. She turned around and didn't feel like waiting for the third one to come back. Suddenly she saw a person walk into the fourth one.

"Excuse me, hold that please!" Keka ran towards the elevator once she noticed the person pressing the open button. She sighed heavily once she made it inside. She patted the person on the back and laughed, "thank you so much."

In a quick reaction the person pushed away and walked to the other side of the small elevator. "I see you can't help but stock me in the day time."

Keka looked up stunned and yelled loudly after recognizing that face and voice. "What in the world are you doing here! Crap! Just my luck." Keka pointed at him in an annoying matter.

"Actually I think I should be asking you that." Ken frowned and crossed his arm. "It doesn't really matter anyway, I'm almost at my floor." He turned toward the door waiting for the one second it would open and he could escape.

"Its weird..." Keka whispered to herself staring at him almost enchanted. _Its weird that I keep finding myself in this position. First it was at the dinner, then the library, and now he. I keep finding him without even trying to. Maybe this is my last chance to find out more about this man._

"Stop staring at me." Ken slightly raised his voice to her without even looking at her.

"How did you know?" Keka's voice faded between her breath and then she whispered again, wanting him to hear it but was afraid of his response. "Am I really that annoying to you?"

"More than you know!" Ken faced her instantly yelling, "why do you keep following me!"

"...I don't mean to, it just happens!" She yelled back trying not to seem upset by his answer, but her feelings were gathering up. "I just end up in the same place as you!" She hadn't realized it until it was to late, but her face had puffed up red from the yelling and her eyes were watering.

Ken jolted back, "why are you crying!"

"**Cause you're such a jerk!**" She screamed and let the tears carry to her chin. When he approached her, she fled from him.

"I don't mean to be...especially to you" Ken smeared his face with the same angered frown, but then released it quickly.

_"Especially to me?" what does he mean. Some how his words feel deeper than he plays them off to be. These words at the same time scared me. I may have been wrong about him, but I won't let myself admit it. I couldn't see clearly, cause my blinding ambition kept me from seeing it before. I was unable to get past the fact Ken is different. Maybe now that I have discovered something new about him, I have discovered something new about myself. Something I didn't realize until I put my selfish pride behind me and saw through the darkness._


	4. Through New Eyes

**Chapter Four**

**Through New Eyes**

Keka hesitated, trying to figure out the situation. The words she could say next would some how effect the mood. Rather than change the subject she come ask him about what he had mentioned. But doing so may bring on a couple of more awkward situations that she couldn't bare. Time progressed in silence, still acing away at their minds. It was one of their turns to break the silence. Keka shyly griped her hands in each other, feeling the warm sweat that was forming beneath.

"...Ken, I..." Keka rushed her sentence, but wasn't quick enough the finish before a sudden jerk of the elevator in motion cut her off. The elevator shook violently to the side, sending Keka and Ken against the wall and then one another. The lights blinked off and on repeating, as the swift motion of the elevator jammed into placed. Keka, no being careful and on her toes, slide across the room bumping into Ken. "Ahhhh!" She cried, feeling her weight being supported by Ken's brief but quick hands. "What just happened!"

Ken stood up, pulling Keka up with him. He held her into place until she got the feel of her feet balanced on the floor. Her brushed them both off interrupting. "Are you okay?" He grabbed her arm, flipping up her sleeves to check for any minor damage. She blushed and shook her head. "That's good." He sighed roughly and tried to press some buttons. The elevator didn't react to one button, which gave him the obvious clue they were stuck in there.

"Why isn't it working?" Keka spoke shaky and with concern. She repeated the same motion and started pressing buttons for herself. When she didn't get a reaction she groaned loudly, falling onto her knees. "This stupid, old elevator! Is the world out to get me!" She held her head in her hands, sitting in the corner of the room.

"Rather than complain, why don't you open the top vent?" Ken crossed his arms in a motion of annoyance.

"Me? Why can't you?" She puffed and stood back up.

"So you want me to climb on your back, until I get the vent open?" His voice sarcastically. "I'll be happy to do so, if you get on your knees!"

"Fine! Okay, we'll have it your way." She pulled back up her sleeves and waiting for Ken the bend down.

He crouched over so she could get on his back. "Come on! We don't have all day." He moaned once he felt her legs press over his shoulders and under his arms. Wincing because of the sudden increase of weight he had to lift, he wobbled at first, then finally catching his balance lifted her up to the vent.

"Stop complaining, I'm not that heavy!" She yelled rudely has she tried to grip the ceiling during all his fidgeting.

"What are you talking about? How would you feel, if you had to carry two hundred pounds and crumbled flesh of worthless girl?" Ken laughed, but soon after stopped.

"Is that all you ever do! Make fun of other people, no wonder you don't have any friends!" Keka finally grabbed the vent, unhitching it from the inside and then pushing it up. "I don't want to stay in here with you, no long than I have to!"

"Who said they wanted to be in here with you! This is your fault in the first place! This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't followed me here like some stalker!" Ken finally gave in to the extra weight and dropped Keka just as she the top to the side.

"Ahhh! What are you doing! I had it open, you idget!" Keka rubbed the back of her head that was injured in the fall. "I can't believe you! And even after you said you didn't mean to be a jerk to me! Well this is some way of proving it!" Keka accused him.

"Well maybe I didn't want to be mean to you because you're such a cry baby. Come on, you're like fifteen and you still cry like some preschooler, wanting her mommy!"

Keka grunted loudly and walked to the opposite side of the elevator, "for now on, leave me alone!"

"No problem, after all you were the one who started it." Ken plopped down onto the floor, making the elevator jump a little.

Keka sighed loudly, for he could tell she was greatly irritated. _He has allot of nerve, especially after he was the one to come up to me. I can't believe this. One minute he's like I don't want to be mean to you, then next thing you know it's 'you're a two hundred pound and crumbled flesh of worthless girl'! Does this guy have two personalities or what?_

The moment of silence didn't last long on the account that two people were still unsatisfied with the outcome of their discussion. Keka stared contently at the ceiling, the vent she had tried to open earlier was still slightly turned. Her eyes then quickly shifted to Ken, who had found peace enough to drift into unconsciousness. His eyes closed and his head nodded repeating as he tried to stay awake. She reframed from the thought of teasing him for it. Instead she lightly sighed and stood up. "Now that you are rested enough, you want to try again?" Her hands moved supportively on her hips.

"You're actually saying this." Ken smiled, stilling caught between sleep and awake. He nodded, "fine." Once more he crouched over so Keka could get on. She didn't hesitate nor speak, she wanted to get this done right for a change. Once she was firmly supported on Ken's shoulders, she reached for the ceiling and quickly grabbed the already opened vent. She pushed it to the side of the roof and grabbed each side of the new opening. Steadily pulling herself up, she reached the top. She reached her hand back inside and offered to pull Ken out. He excitedly excepted her offer, "thanks."

"No problem, I couldn't very much leave you in there now could I." She glanced up, noticing the elevator was just a few feet beneath a door. "I wonder what me mom would say if she saw me climbing up elevator pulleys and walls." Keka laughed and gripped the cable. "Once we get up there, how will we open the door?"

Ken shrugged and smiled, "I guess someone will have to hear us." He followed after her, after she crossed both legs around one another and started to pull herself up. "Keka...have you ever done anything like this before?"

"Never. I guess you could say, my with isn't will with this type of leisure time. I barelly have any time as it is to be here after school." Keka strained, pulling the her own weight up the cable. She had to be more careful now that Ken was beneath her.

"That what do you like to do when you have time?"

"I really don't know...I guess I can't call it a hobby since it's like work. But I love to write and draw, usually that goes without saying. It's all I ever do during class." She giggled a little and continued up.

"But you just said you have no time, than why do you have the time to draw and write in class. You're really confusing you know. How do you know the future readers of your book will understand you. I don't even understand you."

"Well if you got the chance to know me instead of always fighting with me than maybe you would understand me."

_Twos days after the incident at the library caused by a boy named Ken, tension still runs high between us. The events that occurred there made me realize something, all over again. That being, the reason Ken is so rude. It's an awareness which becomes obscured, I keep regular contact with him. Yet I still don't understand. Why is that so much trouble falls into my lap when I'm around him?_


	5. Misunderstanding

Chapter Five

Misunderstanding

If you only face forward, there is something you will miss seeing. It is a virtue to devote oneself to something, firmly believing in one's own ideals. But that doesn't mean it's all right to be little the ideas and feelings of others. If you lead such a busy life, and you don't realize how other people feel, it's only self-satisfaction. It's all right to stop every now and again., if you want moments rest. If you want to feel what other people feel. At least that's what I believe now.

"Second impressions." Keka stated under breath as she scaled the elevator wires.

"What did you just say?" Ken interrupted her line of thought suddenly. They had been quiet every now and then, but something Keka said always started a new topic.

"Second impressions." She smiled politely and looked below her, at Ken. "My first impression of you was that you were a person troubled by something from your past that made life harder for you. Or you were just a rude, selfish, jerk who has no friends cause you plainly can't get along with humans. But just recently I've come to a different conclusion." She giggled, knowing that if she didn't say what it was it would aggravate him.

"Well?" He spoke stubbornly giving in to her trick.

"You are...shy." She hesitated for a while as she finally reached the point of the wire, where it was directly across from the elevator door. "You simply avoid getting to know someone, because you are afraid there are differences between you. You are afraid to go on...because of future problems that may occur."

He sighed frustrated. "People judge people, because of someone's personal logic. Their ideas are different from those of others they try to understand. But our ideas aren't even closely compatible. I'm not shy, and I'm not afraid of anything." He groaned, pulling his own weight to hers.

"Than how do you see yourself?" In a final sigh, she stopped climbing and stared down at him again. He didn't answer, only gave her this questionable look as to why she hadn't opened the door or something. "Fine." She reached one arm out and started to pound on the door repeating. "Hello! Anyone out there!" She continued to yelled until she heard a mocking pound on the opposite side of the door. Someone had heard her and knocked back. "Can't you go get some help!" The knocks faded as she heard loud sounds of tampering. And without much struggle the door slide open. "Oh my god! I didn't think that would actually work!" She laughed loudly. "Hey, Ken! Do you believe that?"

A group of men helped pull the kids out and questioned their reason for being there. They explained the elevator failure in detail as the men called up a mechanic.

"Misunderstood." Ken said in a compose way. He slothfully walked over to Keka and handed her a folder. "This goes to your mother, right?"

"Yes." Keka stared at the folder curiously and took it back. "What were you saying before?"

"You asked me, how do I see myself? I answered, misunderstood." Bluntly taking a step forward, he headed down the hall.

"Misunderstood?" Keka repeated. She smiled and nodded, following the boy. "I agree. You are rather different. I, myself don't understand you 99 of the time." She heard him sighed in innocence. "But it's ok. We all don't fit in some of the time."

He sighed once more, but louder. "This is what happens when you feed a puppy."

"Huh?"

"It follows you everywhere, and then yaps constantly all the way there." He murmured to himself.

Keka's jaw fell open. "You have a one tracked mind! Teasing me! Just a minute ago you were talking about, if I got the chance to know you instead of always fighting with you than maybe I would understand you."

"Yeah, well...that _shouldn't_ include after spending 45 minutes in the same room with you." He groaned and came to a complete halt. Keka looked around and then at the door he stood in front of. It looked oddly familiar to her. He suddenly opened it, "hello Mrs. Yama. Sorry for the delay, but I had a run in with trouble."

The woman at the desk looked up from her pile of papers and smiled. "Oh, hello Ken." And surprisingly she looked at Keka. "Hi Keka, didn't you deliver my work."

"Oh, here." Keka handed her mother the folder. "Mom, how do you know Ken?" She stared curiously at him.

"I'm Ken's editor." She looked through the stack of papers in the folder and continued to work.

"Editor! You mean to tell me you work for this brat!" She yelled pointing rudely in his face. She received a brief nod from her mother. "But-but."

"Well, I have to go with Ken. I will be right back, Keka." She stood up from the enormous collection of work and walked Ken out of the room.

"Huh?" Keka looked around the room. She couldn't believe that her mother worked for such a jerk. She scrambled through the stack of papers on her mother's desk, curiously searching for something interesting to do. Suddenly she came across a file of papers. She opened it and saw Ken's name at the top. This must be his next book, she thought. Rummaging through the papers she stopped at an interesting place and read the lines. "_Self-protection--the means of protecting one's self. People expose the weakness which a bids within them and thus form a group. Before they know it, they begin to exclude those who are not one of them. But what becomes of those who have been excluded? I smiled at the children who stayed in a tight group. Sure, let's live today, let's live tomorrow, and let's live today, let's live the day after that. Even if it means living in eternal pain...living excluded from the rest._"

As I read those words something rose within me. Was this how Ken felt? He was so obviously connected to his readers by relating his emotions to those that others like him feel. But how did that make him misunderstood. If he can build a relationship with his readers by connecting their shared feelings and ideas, why was he misunderstood? In my opinion...he was the one forming groups. He was excluding people who didn't feel like him...like me. I was excluded from this feeling of being misunderstood. Though I misunderstood others, they never misunderstood me, so I became immune to this feeling. Maybe I was the one misunderstanding him. I clearly am blind to his personal logic, what he feels, and how he thinks? Then how can I understand him...if he won't let me even try?


	6. Depressed

**Chapter Six**

**Depressed**

"Others that are excluded, have individual reasons as to why they were shunned a pond. They were damned by the ones they wish acceptance from the most. Those who are shamed by sin, those who are shamed by birth, those who are shamed by their past, present, and future. People who sin, say this; that they had to, to survive. People who sin say this, it's to late now to stop. The shadow called sin dogs them steadily from behind, silently without a word. Remorse and agony are repeated only end up at despair at the end. But the sinners don't know, that if they only turned around there's a light there which keeps shinning on them ever so lonely, a light that will never fade..." Keka quickly cleared her voice with a cough and carefully turned the page.

"That day, that time, 15 years ago, we were born, weren't we? There was nothing but peaceful days and mother was always close behind us. But our disagreeing thoughts changed each of our ways of life, didn't they? I don't regret it. I will vow once again not to kill, not to betray, but to find happiness. To talk about my dreams, because the ticket to the future is always blank.

The fragment of memory lost in the gap between life and death, is it something which will point the way to spiritual awareness? The silver metallic gun crushes. In my heart, metamorphosis, my past, my brother, my mother. The moment I was reunited with everything I ever protected. The light and the intoxicating sound of the trigger took them all away from me. This is the beginning of my past. This is the end of my journey." She continued reading as she followed each word with her stiff finger. The words from the book had shown her a different way to express her love for novels. Her eyes read each line with intensity stronger than any she had ever known. To her the novel she read was the real world, and the home she was in was a fictional lie sent to distract her from her real purpose in life. As she finished each page in under a minute she felt herself being drawn into the literature. Unfortunately the bond could easily be interrupted.

"Keka. What are you doing?" Ken walked in with a blunt expression. Keka quickly startled by the sudden intrusion of the young writer. He smiled slightly. "So what do you think? That is if you can even comprehend what I was saying."

"Very funny! I understand perfectly!" Keka yelled, offensively holding up her fist to his face. She then hesitated and reframed from hitting him. "I understand. Though some it is confusing to me, I could make out that the narrator and his brother had lived happily with their family. But that was it, for some reason him and their family was shun by the other people and depended on each other. That is until everyone else was murdered except the speaker. And he understands the person who killed them, like he knows that person's personal logic and understanding." She smiled painfully. "I was wondering some things as I read. Like why did that person feel obligated to kill his family, what had the family done that was so horrible? Did they sin or kill? And...was this written from simple experience with the situation or cleverly developed from inner feelings and thoughts and imagination?"

He smiled, "you tell me. Do I seem that troubled to you?" He laughed lower in his throat which sounded more like a 'humph' to Keka. "When it is published, will you buy it?"

"Why? Can't I just read the whole manuscript here?" She questioned holding up the large collection of papers, kept together by staples and the folder.

"No! How am I suppose to make a living if you are being stingy and not buying it like everyone else?" He contradicted her reasoning.

"A living? You're only a kid, why would you need to make a living?" Keka pouted, crossing her arms with the story still in her hand.

"One, I'm not a kid. That's only to refer to a young goat, which I am not. Second, I'm supporting a family of two all by myself. Third, this is an easier job than working at some stupid part-time restaurant that takes up most of your time, which I don't have extra to spare. I still have school, after all I'm only sixteen."

"Really? Well my assumption from when I first meant you was right. You are only a year older than me." She teased.

She continued reading as she followed each word with her stiff finger. The words from the book had shown her a different way to express her love for novels. Her eyes read each line with intensity stronger than any she had ever known. To her the novel she read was the real world, and the home she was in was a fictional lie sent to distract her from her real purpose in life. As she finished each page in under a minute she felt herself being drawn into the literature. Unfortunately the bond could easily be interrupted. 

"Oh, really? How often do you make hypothesis's on my personality or me in general?" Due to her ever growing questions for him, he felt it was his turn to question her.

"Well..." She took time out to carefully look over the situation. "Just as I was reading this I was thinking you were very depressed and troubled. Like you really wanted someone to understand you, but you were always given false hope. As result, you tried to understand everyone else around you, instead of the other way around. I feel you are missing your words from the story and going by what everyone can relate to. But it destroys the whole purpose of writing." She smiled and point at his chest, toward his heart. "I think it's all about coming up with a way to express your personal feelings and ideas. So that people can get to know the real you. Right now you are hiding behind the logic of those who you know everyone else will understand."

"You are really something, Keka." A tortured smiled appeared once again and he let on the appearance that what she had said had hit him below the belt. "It's surprising how such in-depth words can come from an amateur writer. But I know there's greatness inside of you." In an awkward need to show adoration, Ken patted her on the back.


End file.
